Positive Mindset

 

by Smt. Mandira Lahiri

Everyday in the newspaper we read about war, apathy, friction, suffering, death, grief etc. Television also tells us about all the negative news. How the leaders of different countries are at loggerheads with each other…. how they are devising new methods to finish each other…. how they are thinking of mindless expansion of their lands without paying heed to the destruction that it causes. It is therefore important to propagate a positive mindset in these trying times (as highlighted by the following anecdotes). 

Mr. Basu, a resident of our neighborhood, was an autocratic man…. proud…. nose high up in the air…. his favorite pastime was the dissection of someone else’s character…. even one word of praise would not come out from his mouth for anyone. But yes, his home-front was peaceful. His wife was an artist who managed their home very well. She also held art classes for housewives. They had a son who was brilliant. Following his impeccable schooling, he attended one of the most prestigious colleges of India. Later, he went to the USA for further studies. Incidentally another girl from our neighborhood went to the same university to study architecture. The boy and the girl fell in love and decided to get married. But they had a big problem on hand. The two families could not see eye to eye with each other. There was a lot of animosity between the two households. So, the children flew down to India, told their respective parents that they were in love, wanted to get married and that they had come to seek their blessings. When the parents saw the seriousness and determination on the faces of their children…. they decided to bury the hatchet. They made all the necessary compromises, let go of their huge egos, and happily started making all the arrangements for the wedding. They invited the whole community. All the guests were warmly welcomed by them. What a pleasant turnaround it was! Everybody was overjoyed to see the positive change in them. It was very heartening to see two kids resolving the differences between their families, by tying the knot. The parents also behaved responsibly and forgot their previous antagonism. There was love, joy and positivity all around.

This anecdote is about a Bengali maid called Rupali who earned her living by working in other people’s houses. She had come from her native place and was in need of money. Whatever she was earning was not enough for her family and herself. She was looking for more work. There was a house in the vicinity whose inmates were badly in need of a domestic help. No maid would stick around in their house since the lady of the house was very rude. Surprisingly Rupali agreed to work there. She paid no heed to those who advised her not to. She just told them that Goddess Lakshmi was coming to her that way and she would respect it. She further added that few harsh words, rude behavior did not affect her. She walked in nonchalantly and started working in that house which was avoided by all. Gradually the days turned to weeks…. weeks turned to months…. months to years…. but Rupali continued to work in that house unflinchingly. The ladies of the community were quite astounded to see this, so one day they asked her how the impossible became possible. She smiled and replied that it was not difficult. She schooled herself to take the lady of the house as her own mother. The nasty behavior which was meted out to Rupali in the beginning was brushed aside by her and she kept doing all her work smilingly. At the most she would say, “Don’t be angry Maa, I will do it just now.” Rupali’s positive attitude brought about a remarkable change in the lady’s demeanor. She became calmer and stopped shouting at Rupali. There was peace at home. As time went by, the lady started caring for Rupali in her own way. One day she told her, “Don’t ever leave me and go away, you have become indispensable for me.” A positive mindset is thus a very powerful tool that we all possess, and which (if used judiciously) can do wonders.

Now this one is my experience in one of the schools, when I got an unruly class to handle. The whole school was waiting for this particular batch to leave. Everybody was sick and tired of them. They were eager to get rid of them so that they could heave a sigh of relief. In my case also initial few classes went in vain. No amount of counseling helped. Then one day as I was about to enter their class, I just thought of changing my tactics. I began to shower praises on them right from the beginning of the class. I told them that they were an amazing bunch of kids, and that it was a real privilege for me to have had the opportunity to teach them…. how every day I learnt something wonderful from them! They could not believe their ears! Their mouths fell open! There was a lull in the classroom. I could see that my words had not sunk in. After a while a boy got up and said that the whole school called them ‘worthless’ and that they were criticized all the time! I explained it to them that everybody’s opinion would change if they could bring about a slight modification in their behaviors. They promised me that they would do it. My praising sessions went on. I completely stopped using negative statements and kept telling them that they all were very precious to the whole school!

Children are very malleable by nature. In about seven days, an amazing change took place. The class from which everybody wanted to stay away, became the talk of the whole school for their marvelous effort to correct themselves. Very soon they became the apple of everybody’s eye.

The other day I was reading Sadguru’s ‘Smritigatha’ and came across an incident of Sri Sri Babathakur’s life which left an indelible mark in my mind. Once in Kankulia, Sri Sri Babathakur lost his watch and some amount of money kept in one of the drawers of his table. All the devotees became very upset. They started searching for the watch and the money. Sri Sri Babathakur stopped them saying that the one who had taken it needed it more than him…. hence, they should forget about the incident and not get perturbed. From then on Sadguru would keep some amount of money for that person who had taken it away in the first place. What a wonderful example of a positive mindset! This incident stirred me from within. I pray to him to make me always think along these lines!

Another story in Sri Sri Babathakur’s ‘Golpey Atma Vidya Part -1 makes us aware of just what Supreme Love and positive mindset really is! I am presenting the story in short here. It goes this way: Once a divine personage was mistakenly wounded badly by a murderer. Later the murderer was caught by the police and put in prison. Though the sage’s condition was serious, he did not have any expression of fear or pain on his face. All the police officials were told to pardon the accused. They were also told to treat him with kindness and respect. He told his caregivers to take him to the prison as he wanted to meet his friend (the murderer) and see him to his heart’s content. So, one day with the help of his caregivers, the sage arrived at the prison. He stood outside the cell and signaled the accused to come close to him. His eyes brimming with tears, he kept looking at him. The sage lovingly went on caressing his head and kissing his forehead and kept saying— Just like you I am alone in this world. The accused kept gazing at the sage with unbelieving eyes! All those present there were also transfixed to their respective places, something divine and out of the world was happening in front of their eyes! The sage came back home and though he was looked after very well, he left his mortal coil in a few days. The accused was declared innocent and was released from jail in a miraculous way. After being set-free, the accused went to a pilgrimage center and entered a temple. He saw the sage sitting in place of the idol. For two to three days the sage was there in his thoughts at all times. Finally, he took refuge under a tree, becoming completely internalized. In the following years, he turned into a saint and spent all his time singing praises of the sage. After witnessing this wonderful manifestation of love in him, many people became ascetics, saints, sages and acquired wisdom.

Analysis of this anecdote in Sri Sri Babathakur’s words — Love’s power is Supreme. It can assimilate everything within itself. Offering one’s own self unconditionally is love’s special trait. Love embraces hurt inflicted by someone, harm done by someone and faults of others. Sri Sri Babathakur further adds— Crucifixion of the body is the mark of Divine Love. The lover (devotee) gives his body to his beloved God in return God gives his Spirit to him. Love is the Spirit and Spirit is Love. Love is Divine and Divine is all-Love. Unconditional self-surrender or self-sacrifice…. that is losing your own individuality in the Absolute Infinity…. becoming One with It is the highest achievement of life. In Divine Love there is no intellect. Love only knows One, there is no two there. Very few are eligible for this Love. Ego of knowledge, education and desires make our mind tarnished…. till its purification, the feeling of True Love cannot be experienced. Krishna, Jesus Christ, Buddha, Chaitanya, Ramakrishna Paramahansa etc. are all Avataars of Love. Avataars of Love are called Gods. Nobody can know them if they don’t make themselves known.

So, we see that a positive mindset and true love can put an end to all the chaos and friction existing in the world today. This is the only way we can rise above the rest and achieve Peace Absolute.