Ease In Old Age

by Smt. Susmita Devi

Becoming ‘old’ in body – i.e. if one could call the age of 76, old (for I just read in the news paper about a lady celebrating her 116^th birthday!) – definitely has its advantages. 

Ramen and I have been so lucky (or as devotees of Sri Sri Babathakur, we say: ‘by Guru’s Grace’) to now be living in a retirement home called ‘Homage’, which can be interpreted as:

-  Reverence to the acquired knowledge of the world gathered over a number of physical years
or
-  Simply – if one were to split the name ‘Homage’ as ‘home + age’ - an institution for the elderly.

Here, I don’t just mean retirement from work outside the home, but retirement also from the strenuous job of being a housewife (who incidentally has even less leisure time than one working outside the home).  On the contrary, it is a time to do things one did not have the time for during one’s ‘goings-on’ age.

Retirement from income-generating or household activities does not at all mean to remain bored, gossip all day long, or stick one’s nose in others affairs just to pass time. Nor does it mean that one should do nothing – in other words let Tamas (inertia, dullness) reign.

Being a member of an old-age institution need not imply that one’s mind has gone numb.  Neither should it hint at a diminished quality of life.  Often the contrary is true, given the number of ‘duties’ one has to engage are few.  Boarders may gather for various activities like singing, story-telling, religious gatherings (satsang) or discussions on a wide variety of topics based on their life experiences.

The institution we stay in really functions as a ‘home’ due to the care provided and the environment created with the elderly in mind. In Homage, one can feel ‘at home’ because the uncomplaining staff and inmates takes care of each other - as well or maybe even better than relatives would.

To pass on the care for the elderly to professionals is a relatively new phenomenon in India.  Just 30 odd years ago when I arrived in India, the fact that family elders would not reside with the younger generation was unheard of.  Socio-economic conditions however have changed quite drastically since then.  These days, migration for work (either within India or abroad) is often necessary to sustain the family.  So who will look after the welfare of the elder generations?  Old age homes are often the solution to socio-economic problems of the present generation of the middle class.

The ‘home’ Ramen and I live in is situated on the banks of the mighty Ganga (although it is officially called Hoogly).  Many of the boarders’ children live and work abroad or in other Indian cities, where the elderly may not like to spend the remainder of their days.  Others like Ramen and myself have no children from whom we might expect care.  It is therefore ideal to live in a place where housekeeping is taken care of by others.  Your only care is to pass your days as agreeably as possible, eventually pursuing a hobby.

We do so for example, by admiring the golden sheen of the rising sun on the ripples of the Ganges from the balcony overlooking it, or by enjoying the sprinkle of silver adorning the water undulating on the river during the late afternoons.  The ever refreshing breeze blowing onshore from the Ganges purges our minds of negativity, and one cannot but be peaceful during such musings.

I have tried to make people aware that not getting any younger is not full of misery if one can adjust. We have done it by following Sri Sri Babathakur’s ‘Formula of Four-fold A’ (Accept, Adjust, and Accommodate to reach the Absolute).  The remembrance of the above quote and its practice in one’s daily life is particularly conducive to the well-being of the house inmates (and to all in general) in the sense that it eradicates unnecessary discontent.  After a while, only the extreme of thoughts or sayings may disturb the mind. Commonplace squabbles, arguments, disgruntlement and discontent simply vanish.